Family is one of those words that can bring up a wide range of emotions. For some, it brings comfort and belonging. For others, it may stir up complicated feelings, painful memories, or even distance. And then, of course, there’s the constant tension of living in a society that’s changing so fast where traditional family values often seem to collide with modern culture.
Honouring parents and family has always come naturally to me. However, there have been seasons when I thought I “knew better,” times when I found myself clashing with my parents’ opinions, or when the busyness of life pushed family relationships to the background. Yet, over and over again, the Bible has reminded me that God takes family and especially honoring our parents very seriously.
1. The Command That Comes With a Promise
Exodus 20:12 says: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
This isn’t just a good suggestion; it’s one of the Ten Commandments. And it’s unique because it comes with a promise of longevity and blessing. God designed family as a place of guidance, nurture, and stability. When we honor our parents, we’re not only respecting them, but also aligning ourselves with God’s order for healthy living.
Now, does honoring mean obeying blindly as an adult? Not necessarily. It means showing respect, care, and gratitude, even when we don’t agree.
2. Honoring Isn’t Always Easy
I understand that not everyone comes from a picture-perfect family. Some of us carry wounds from broken relationships, absent parents, or difficult childhoods. Even in those hard places, God calls us to live differently.
Ephesians 6:1-3 reaffirms the command to children: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother…” Notice it says “in the Lord.” That means our obedience and honor are rooted in our reverence for God, not just our parents’ behavior.
3. Honoring Extends Beyond Parents
In many cultures, family goes beyond the nuclear household. Scripture also emphasizes caring for extended family. 1 Timothy 5:8 says: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
That’s a sobering reminder. Honoring isn’t just words, it’s action. Sometimes that looks like supporting aging parents financially, checking in on siblings, or being present for family in times of crisis.
I think of Ruth, who honored her mother-in-law Naomi even after tragedy struck. Her loyalty not only blessed Naomi but also positioned Ruth in God’s bigger story, becoming the great-grandmother of King David (Ruth 1:16).
4. Balancing Boundaries and Honor
One question that often comes up is: What about when family expectations clash with God’s calling or with healthy boundaries?
Jesus Himself modeled this balance. In Matthew 12:48-50, when His family sought Him, He used it as a teaching moment to say that whoever does the will of God is His true family. He didn’t dishonor His mother or brothers, but He made it clear that God’s mission came first.
For us, that means we can set boundaries when needed while still maintaining honor through respect, kindness, and prayer for our families, even when we must say “no.”
5. Honoring Family as Witness
Ultimately, honoring our parents and family isn’t just about personal duty, it’s also a testimony to the world. In a society that often prizes independence and self above all else, choosing to value family is a countercultural act.
Colossians 3:20-21 reminds us: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
When we live out these values, we reflect God’s heart for love, respect, and generational blessing.
Final Thoughts
Family life is not always simple, especially in today’s changing society. But the call to honor our parents and care for our families remains timeless. It doesn’t mean perfection, nor does it mean ignoring hurt or pretending everything is fine. What it does mean is choosing respect, choosing gratitude, and choosing to reflect God’s love in our family relationships.
For me, this looks like making that phone call even when I’m tired, listening with patience even when I disagree, and praying regularly for my parents and loved ones.
And every time I choose honor, I see how God uses it to strengthen not just my family, but my own walk with Him.
Over to you: What does honoring your parents and family look like in your life right now? Is it easy, or do you find it challenging? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your journey.
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Stay blessed.
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